Traumatized
by Nicole Blaire
Summary: Poor Yuki Judai lost his mother when he was only a child. But he swears that she's still alive. Everyone tries to convince him that she's gone but he just can't stand it. Maybe if the right person tells him. Maybe Anderson Johan? T for inappropriate lang.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, I thought of this fanfic at three o'clock in the morning Sunday night. Well, technically Monday morning but you know what I mean. I hope u enjoy it.**

Judai tossed and turned in bed. He was having a nightmare. The same nightmare he gets every night. After a couple years of practice, he learned how to muffle his screams while he slept so his father wouldn't have to wake up each night and check up on him. Or maybe he just stopped checking. Judai wasn't sure.

Finally, Judai sat up panting with sweat drenched in his clothes. He had a nightmare about his dead mother. Someone had broken into their house and strangled her. But Judai was only a kid and didn't know what was happening.

The brunette wiped tears from his eyes and silently hopped out of bed and entered his mother's room. He and his dad built it to be a shrine for her but only the two of them could see it.

Lowering to his knees, Judai stared at his mother's picture. "Hey, Mom," he said in a trembling voice. "I dreamt about you."

Megumi, his mother stared back at her son with that award-winning smile.

"I wish you'd come home soon." A tear slipped down his face. "Things haven't been right with you gone."

Again, Megumi stared back at her son.

Judai sniffed. "I should go. School, and all." He kissed the frame and left the shrine.

When he finished his morning rituals, he headed downstairs and toward the door.

"Judai?"

The brunette turned and faced his father.

"Want any breakfast?"

He shook his head. "I'll be late for school."

"At least take this." Hiroshi, his father, tossed him a granola bar.

Judai smiled and put it in his pocket. "Thanks."

Hiroshi placed a hand on Judai's shoulder. "_Watashi no yukan na shonen._" Which was Japanese for, "My brave boy." (A/N: don't ask me how I know this. Just ask yauksiei, she'll tell u the story about me in seventh grade and came to school speaking fluent Japanese lol)

"_Watashi wa anata daisuki desu._" Translation: I love you.

Hiroshi smiled and kissed Judai on the forehead. "Go. You'll be late."

Judai jumped on his bike and raced to school. He entered the school and scurried to his locker. The sooner he got to homeroom, the safer he'd be.

"Hey, look! It's mental boy!"

_Too late_, he thought.

Takeru strode over to the brunette.

Judai tried to walk around him but Takeru blocked him. "Excuse me, but you're in my way."

"Yeah, so?"

"You're gonna make me and yourself late."

"You think I care about that?" Then, the boy ripped Megumi's picture out of Judai's pocket.

"Hey!" the boy cried.

"Aw, is this your mommy?"

"Give it back!"

Takeru held it up over his head so Judai couldn't reach it. "Hey, I recognize this chick."

"Give it back, _now._"

Takeru ignored the brunette. "She died a few years ago."

"She's not dead!"

"Judai, I'm saying this for your own good. She's dead. And she's never coming back." He laughed as he tore the picture to shreds.

Judai felt his eyes sting with tears. "You ruined her picture."

"And what are you gonna do about it, mental boy?"

Judai ran the other way just as the bell rang. Tears were falling down his face and he couldn't allow anyone to see him like this.

He ran out the building and bumped into someone who was taller than him and had teal hair.. "I-I'm s-sorry!" he sputtered. Then he continued running.

The boy, Johan, groaned. "Why was I cursed with this guilty conscious?" he asked himself. "Hey, kid! Wait!" He ran after the boy.

Judai was slumped under a tree with his head in his hands while he cried.

"Hey."

He looked up and saw the same boy he ran into. "What?" he croaked.

"Are you ok?"

Judai laughed a humorless laugh. "What do you want?"

"Huh?"

"Did Takeru send you to mock me?"

Johan was silent while he tried to figure what the boy meant. And who was Takeru? He hated being new kid.

Judai took his silence as a confirmation. He shook his head. "Why can't anyone around here just leave me alone?"

"But I--"

"Just leave!"

Johan didn't want to but it was obvious the boy didn't want him. So he left.

.

In second period, Johan spotted the small brunette walk into the classroom with a late pass They had a small conversation and the teacher nodded in understanding. Then he sat in front of Johan and chewed on a granola bar.

After a couple of minutes, Mrs. K, their math teacher, called on Judai to answer the question. "Judai? Can you answer this question for me?"

The boy lifted his head up from the desk. He stared at the problem for a moment. Then, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Kazumi, I don't know the answer."

"That's ok, Judai. Mr. Anderson? Do you know the answer?"

Johan took the time to acknowledge that the boy's name was Judai and he seemed to be struggling to pay attention.

"Mr. Anderson?"

"Sorry. Um, is it A squared?"

"Correct."

During lunch, Johan sat alone at Table 12 and watched Judai enter the cafeteria with a group of people laughing and throwing paper balls at him.

"Hello, mate."

Johan tore his eyes away from Judai and looked up at boy with brown hair, blue eyes and a hat.

"I'm Jim."

"Johan."

They shook hands.

"Is it alright if I sit here?" The Aussie asked.

"Yeah, sure."

He sat down.

Johan put his eyes back on Judai and watched in pity as he sat alone at Table 8.

"That's Yuki Judai," Jim said, taking him out of his eerie.

"So I've heard."

"I would get involved with him if I were you."

Johan looked at Jim with confusion. "You got some kind of beef with him?"

Jim shook his head. "No, of course not. He's a good kid. He just needs help."

"Like, general help or the special kind of help?"

"Both. Last year, his mother died and ever since he's been acting weird. He separated himself from Takeru and his posse and they all started mocking him."

"Wait, he used to be with Takeru?"

"Yeah. Judai used to be one of the most popular kids around."

"Wow. Has anyone tried to help him?"

"Yeah. I even went to Mrs. Ayukawa. She's the guidance counselor/nurse. She tried to help Judai but he's still the same."

"Geez."

Jim nodded.

"Hey, Jim. Who's this?" a tall dirty blonde girl asked.

"I'm Johan," the bluenette answered.

"I'm Asuka, nice to meet you."

"You too."

Soon, Johan knew everyone he needed to know for his first day.

After lunch, Johan was in English with Dr. Chronos. And big surprise, Judai was there too.

Dr. C. tried to get Judai to participate like all the other teachers, but he refused.

**AFTER SCHOOL**

Johan and Judai exited their last class and went to their lockers.

When Johan had everything packed away, he turned and saw a boy with such dark hair, it almost looked purple. He wore baggy jeans and a sweatshirt like he was a gangster.

He passed Judai and knocked his books out of his hands.

The brunette said nothing and bent down to retrieve his books.

The European dropped to the floor as well and helped him.

Judai looked up at Johan cautiously and took his books slowly.

Johan smiled to show he was to be intimidated by.

"Thanks," Judai said as he stood up.

"No problem," answered the bluenette.

Without another word, he left the school and rode home on his bike.

Judai took out his key and pressed the button to make the garage door slide open. Then he rode the bike inside and placed it off to the side.

He clicked another button and the door closed. Then he walked inside the house.

"Hey, Judai-kun," Hiroshi greeted.

"Hi," he answered glumly.

His father was used to this mood. "How was school?"

Judai was about to say, "Fine," until he remembered what happened that morning. He put his had in his pocket and he gasped when he found his picture of Megumi was gone.

"Judai?"

"It's gone," he whispered. "The picture of Mom's gone." Tears sprung to his eyes and Hiroshi wrapped him into a hug before they had a chance to spill over.

"How'd you loose it?" he asked gingerly.

"Takeru!" he blubbered. "He took it and ripped it up! And now she's gone!"

"Ssh, it's ok. We have plenty more."

He sniffed and looked up at his father. "We do?"

"Of course. We have tons and tons and tons and tons of copies."

Judai wiped his tears away. "Can I have another one?"

"Anything for my sweet boy." He kissed his untamable hair and went to retrieve the picture of Megumi.

Judai smiled. He loved his father so much. He sacrificed everything for him. He could only imagine how hard it was for him too. He had to sleep in an empty bed and be three people at once. A father, a mother and a friend.

Hiroshi came back with another picture and Judai placed it in his pocket where it would always stay.

"Now, start on your homework. Did you participate in class today?"

"Well, the teachers tried to get me to but I was either too lost in my thoughts of Mom or I couldn't understand the question."

"As long as you're trying, I'll always be proud of you."

"Thanks, Dad."

He smiled at his son as he started his homework.

**Ok, that's it for now! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Leave a review!**

**l**

**l**

**v**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok, I'm updating again today cuz I don't want yauksiei going Erik on me. (inside joke for phantom fans) And also cuz I got a lot of reviews and story alerts for this story and I'm excited to see the result for the second chapter. I hope you all enjoy it!**

**I've got my eyes on you, yauksiei…lol**

That night, Judai had the dream again. He looked at the time and saw it was time to get up anyway. But first, he went to visit Megumi.

"Hey, Mom," Judai greeted quietly. He crouched down and smiled at his mother's picture. "I had another dream about you." He scoffed. "What else is new?" he muttered.

The picture only stared back at the boy.

A surge of anger burst through the brunette. "Why don't you ever come home?" he yelled. "Why? It's not fair!"

Sobs built up in his chest and it took all of his strength to hold them back. This was the first time he had asked the question and first time he yelled at his mother for something he knew was his fault.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. He could barely look in her eyes. He felt so guilty for saying what he did. Then did he realize that he had been wanting to say those words for years. And now that he said it, he regretted it.

He wiped at his eyes and sniffed. "I should go. I love you, Mom." He left the room and walked downstairs the same time as Hiroshi.

"How'd you sleep?" his father asked.

"Fine," Judai lied.

"Want some breakfast? I think you can spare a few minutes."

He shook his head. "I wanna get their early. I have some things I need to--"

"Say no more," Hiroshi interrupted. "Go ahead. But take a little something before you leave. You have to eat something."

"Ok." He walked to the table and grabbed an apple. "Bye."

"See you after school."

Judai rode off to school. He wanted to get their early so he could beat Takeru there. He didn't need to be bullied again before homeroom.

But of course, his plan faltered.

"Hey, everybody!" Takeru exclaimed. "Mental boy's back!"

The crowd laughed and Judai went around them. Well, at least tried.

Takeru discretely stuck out his foot and caused Judai to trip and fall on his face.

In the distance, Johan watched the whole scene. And frankly, Takeru was really pissing him off. He walked over to Judai just as the crowd left.

He held out his hand for Judai to take it. "Are you ok, Judai?"

The brunette took his hand and was hauled to his feet. "How do you know my name?"

"I heard--"

"So, it wasn't enough tease me, but you have to start stalking me now?"

"What?" Johan asked incredulously. Was he serious? What has Takeru been putting into his head.

"Johan is it?"

The bluenette nodded.

"Well, Johan, listen to me. I _do not_ need, nor want, your help. I like that you wanna help. But I'm perfectly fine on my own." Judai walked around him and into his homeroom which was the same as Johan's. It seemed, they had the exact same schedule except for Encores.

**AT LUNCH**

Johan sat at Table 12 again where Jim and Asuka sat. "Hey, guys."

Everyone greeted him with Hi's.

"So, what'd I miss?"

"We were just predicting," Asuka replied.

"What about?"

"About how long it will take for Takeru to pick a fight with Judai," Jim said.

"Why would he do that?" Johan asked as he scanned the room. Takeru was still in his seat, nowhere near Judai. He couldn't help but feel protective of the small boy.

"Well, we heard in health class Judai said something to Takeru that set him off. So now, he wants to 'punch his head into his shoulders.'" Asuka said, mimicking Takeru's voice.

"And there he goes!" exclaimed the Australian.

Johan looked up and saw the bully stand up from his seat and motioned for Judai to stand up.

The brunette was trembling in fear and had no choice but to listen.

"_Sorede_," he spoke in Japanese which made it even more intimidating. "_anata wa modette watashi wa anata no tawagato o utsu mae ni, anata ga kurasu ni yoruto toru no desu ka?_" Translation: So, do you wanna take back what you said in class before I beat the shit out of you?

"_Shi naide kudasai._" Translation: Never.

Takeru pulled his fist back but before he could press it into Judai's face, Johan jumped in front of him and pushed him back.

"Leave him alone!" the bluenette scolded.

Takeru let out a screeching laugh. "You think, you're gonna stop me?" He laughed once more.

Johan didn't answer. He only glared which caused Takeru to laugh harder.

"Ah, when did you dorks get so confident?" He pulled back his fist and pushed it forward but Johan caught it and twisted it to an odd angle.

Takeru groaned in pain. "Ok, ok, I get it! Let go!"

Johan let go. "Get out of here."

He rubbed his wrist and turned around and sat back in his seat.

The bluenette turned around. "You alright?"

Judai narrowed his eyes. Then he opened his mouth to speak but Johan interrupted him.

"If you tell me that you don't need any help one more time, _I'll_ be the one punching you in the face."

Judai sighed. "I guess I do owe you a thanks."

Johan smiled. "You're welcome." He walked back to his seat with wide eyes coming from Jim and Asuka.

"That…" Asuka started.

"Was…" Jim continued.

"Awesome!" they finished together.

Johan laughed and took a bow to add humor.

"That was really brave," Asuka said. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone stand up to Takeru. He's the biggest bully in the school. People in higher grades fear him."

Johan shrugged. "It wasn't _that_ amazing."

Jim laughed. "But it was. That was really cool."

"Thanks."

**LATER**

For their second encore, Johan and Judai had gym last period. They walked in the locker room and got dressed into their uniform.

Then they were ready, everyone entered the gym.

Before class started, the teacher pulled Judai aside so they could talk.

"Judai, today we're gonna play Helicopter with the rope." (A/N: anyone who doesn't know what that is, is when someone takes a rope and twirls it around and the other players have to jump over it before it hits you. Sound familiar?)

The brunette winced at the word. He always had trouble with ropes. It was what murdered Megumi.

"If you don't want to participate, that's fine."

Judai shook his head. "No, I wanna try."

"Are you sure?"

"It's what my dad told me. I should try to participate more in class."

The teacher didn't look very convinced but he allowed Judai to play.

Everyone jumped with laughs and smiles but Judai jumped like it was a life or death situation.

Judai looked up for a moment and got caught in Johan's emerald green eyes. The European noticed and smiled at the brunette.

Judai looked away and jumped a little too late.

The rope got tangled around his ankles and Judai fell to the ground. His breathing picked up and the visions took over.

He watched Megumi's murderer strangling her again and he couldn't look away.

"Why isn't he moving?" Johan asked Jim.

"I don't know. But if you think this is bad, you should see what happened when Takeru tied him up with a jump rope. He shook like he was having a seizure."

Johan stared helplessly at Judai while the teacher shook him out of his mental film.

"Are you ok?"

Judai nodded.

"Why don't you sit out for the rest of the period?"

"Ok." The brunette walked over to the sidelines and sat on the floor and watched the rest of the class finish the game. At least he tried. Hiroshi would be a little proud, he guessed.

But that wasn't really what was on his mind. It was Johan. What was that feeling? Why did he want that feeling again? Judai was afraid to find out the answer.

After school, he managed to escape Takeru and his gang and made it home safely. He walked into his house and was greeted by Hiroshi.

"How was school?" he asked.

"Fine." Judai didn't wanna go into full detail on how he had a spasm in gym.

"Just fine?"

"Just fine."

Hiroshi nodded. "Ok. Want a snack?"

"I'm ok. I'm gonna get started on my homework."

"Ok. And Judai?"

He looked up.

"I'll be home a little late tomorrow. Will you be ok?"

_Of course not, you old buffoon!_ he thought. "Yeah."

"Good. I'll be home in time for dinner."

"Ok."

Hiroshi disappeared into his office while Judai began his homework.

When Judai finished, he tried to think of what he could do tomorrow so he wouldn't die. But when he came up blank, he gave up decided to let what happens happen. It couldn't be that bad. Could it?

**Yep, that's it. I hope you enjoyed it! The next chapter has something a little interesting. I hope to see you there. Well, not really see you but I hope you read it. Or will I be staring at through a window? Hmm…lol jk. Review!**

**l**

**l**

**v**


	3. Chapter 3

**Before I start the chapter, I would like to apologize to Yukiko Shiroryuu. I got him/her all worked up for the weekend when I planned on updating but I ended up not happening so I apologize. I hope you forgive me!**

**Anyway, here's the third chapter? I can't remember. That's kinda sad isn't it? Lol ENJOY!**

The next morning Judai woke up screaming which surprised him. He thought he mastered the not-screaming-in-sleep-thing. But maybe it was because he had a different dream?

Yes, Yuki Judai had a different dream. It was only a tiny bit different but it was a step up for the boy.

Of course, it started off with his with Megumi's death but afterwards, Judai sat in a room filled with complete darkness.

Then, a narrow-looking hallway opened up with such bright light Judai had to squint. And at the end, he saw a shadow. A figure with spiky hair and stood in a confident stance.

"Judai-kun," the voice said.

And before the brunette could decipher who the voice belonged to, he was awake and kicking and screaming in his bed.

He expected his father to walk in but only then did he remember that he wasn't home.

Judai wiped his face and swallowed away the rest of his screams. But what confused him the most was that they weren't screams of fear. They were screams of frustration.

He wanted to know who that voice belonged to and why it sounded so familiar. Who could it be? Was someone that could protect Judai? Or was it tricking him?

He groaned again. Why was his brain so slow compared to everyone else?

He did his morning routine. He visited Megumi, brushed his teeth, showered and ate a little breakfast. Then he was off to school.

Judai was feeling just a little more happy today. Just a little. That voice in his dream felt like it was giving him a glowing feeling. Like it was protecting him.

Well, until this happened. (A/N: this scene is very unlikely to happen but also very painful and violent. So don't try this at home kids lol)

Judai was pedaling down a small hill until a shiny black Hybrid swerved into Judai's path.

Again, because of his slow brain, he didn't have fast reflexes. So before he hit the brakes, the wheel of his bike crashed into the car and flipped him over the hood and head first to the hard cement. (A/N: ouch. sorry, I tried to warn you.)

Takeru and his friends snickered and drove around the poor boy and continued off to school.

Luckily, Judai wore a helmet. So he wasn't in as much pain as he would've been in. It was just his shoulder and his wrist that was hurt.

Moved them both and found it wasn't broken. It would only leave a bruise if anything. So, he hopped back on his bike and continued down the hill.

**LATER**

Judai arrived to school a few minutes late. So he hurried to his locker and then rushed into homeroom. Well, it wasn't really homeroom anymore. It was first period. But first period was in his homeroom so, yeah.

When the door closed, all eyes turned on him which he didn't like. He felt like shriveling inside a rock.

"Judai, I'm glad you could make it," the teacher said with a smile.

The awkward silence grew so Judai hurried to his seat and slouched in his seat.

"Judai-kun."

The brunette gasped. It was the same voice in his dream. It couldn't be. No! Johan was a stalker! Kind of…

"Judai? You still there?"

"Huh?"

"What happened?"

"Oh um, I slept in," Judai answered._ Wait, why am I explaining myself to him? _He thought._ And…why am I finding it hard to answer his concerned questions? Was he even concerned? And if so, why?_

"Then, how'd you get a bloody lip?"

"Hm?" Judai put a finger to his mouth and saw there was blood. He must've gotten that when he fell off his bike. "Um, I have really chapped lips."

Johan narrowed his eyes but continued his work.

The teacher caught Judai up on what he missed and soon he had his head down on the desk with a half finished worksheet and thoughts running through his head trying to explain to him how possible it was Johan was the one who wanted to help him.

**AT LUNCH**

Judai sat at the same table, alone once again, and ate a small lunch. (A/N: so unlike Judai.)

He was about to take his first bite when a bluenette sat in front of him. Again, he got lost in his emerald green eyes. They were so beautiful, he almost forgot he was looking at Johan.

"Um, hi?"

"Is that really all you're gonna eat?" the European asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"All you have is small sandwich and water."

Judai gasped. "Oh my god! It's a sandwich and water!" he said sarcastically.

Johan ignored his ironic retort. Then he picked up an apple from his tray and handed it to Judai. "At least have a little more than that."

"If I take it will you leave me alone?"

"Yes."

The brunette rolled his eyes and took the apple. And just as he promised, Johan left and sat back at his original table.

"Nothing can get through to that boy," Jim stated.

"You already told me that," Johan replied nicely.

"He scares me sometimes," Asuka said. "I can't help but see him when he's older and turned suicidal." She shuddered.

"It'll probably happen anyway," Johan said with disappointment. "But I can't help but try."

Back with Judai, he had already finished the food he bought and was now chewing on Johan's apple. When he finished it, he put it down on his tray and saw a piece of paper stuck to the bottom of it.

He took it off and read what seemed to be an e-mail address and a phone number. Then underneath was a short message.

_Just in case you wanna talk_, it read.

Judai wanted to throw it out, but his fingers wouldn't cooperate. They ended up folding the paper into fourths and pushing it into his pocket. And instead of feeling frustrated from the weird movements of his fingers, he felt relieved instead.

At the end of the day, Judai was about to exit the school when Takeru and Takeru alone, stood in his way.

"Hey, Judai. Where were you this morning?" he laughed. "What happened? Oh yeah, I hit you with my car. Now it's coming back to me."

"Leave me alone," Judai whined. There was too much going on and Judai wanted to break down and cry right then. He wanted Hiroshi to hold him in his arms but he wasn't home. He couldn't take this anymore!

"Leave you alone? I think not." He shoved Judai into the lockers and he hit his bad shoulder. "It's just too much fun to mess around with you."

Judai took a deep breath. He didn't wanna be beat up again so he pushed Takeru with all his strength.

The bully fell to the floor. And before he could get up to go after the brunette, he was already on his bike and racing down the street.

Judai burst through the door to his house and he broke down into tears. He called both of his parents' names but neither of them came.

Hiroshi was at a meeting until dinner and Megumi was…somewhere unknown.

When his sobs calmed, the phone started to ring. It was his father. He took a deep breath and tried to keep his voice strong.

"Hello?"

"There's my boy!" Hiroshi boomed. "How was school today?"

"It was fine."

"Good. How are you doing with me gone?"

"Um, well it's a little awkward with all this silence but I'm alright," he tried to joke.

Hiroshi laughed. "Ok. Well, from what it looks like, I think I'm gonna have to pull an all-nighter. Will you be ok alone until tomorrow?"

More tears spilled down his face. He had to swallow the sob in his throat so he could speak. "Yeah, I'll be ok."

"Alright. I'm sorry Judai. I'll be home by dinner tomorrow."

"Ok. I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, son. Bye."

"Bye." He slammed the phone as quickly as possible and started crying again. He couldn't be alone for another twenty-four hours. He just couldn't! Look what all has happened so far! He couldn't do it. He just couldn't.

Judai felt the loneliness creep up on him and he suddenly felt his lungs stop working. He couldn't breath no matter how much oxygen he sucked in.

He found himself searching through the drawers and pulling out his inhaler which he hadn't used in over seven years.

His lungs still felt like they were ripping apart but at least he could breathe.

_Ok, Judai_, he thought. _How are you gonna deal with this? Alone for another twenty-four hours? Ok, we'll find a solution._ He thought for a moment and a very dangerous idea popped up.

He wasn't sure if it would help but he was desperate. He pulled out the piece of paper and dialed Johan's number.

"Hello?"

"Johan? Hi."

"Judai? Is it really you?"

"Yeah, it's me. Look, I'm sorry if this is-"

"No, it's fine. Is everything ok? Your voice is trembling."

"Um, actually, no. Can you come over? I just need someone here to talk to."

"Sure, where's your address?"

(Just make something up, I don't wanna give away any stranger's address lol)

"Ok, I'm on my way."

In the mean time, Judai sat on the couch and looked through his deck. He lost his ability to see monster spirit's a couple days after Megumi left.

The cards gave him a little more comfort but there was something missing.

_DIIIIING DOOOOOONG!_

Judai jumped off the couch and looked through the peep-hole. It was Johan. He opened the door and the bluenette walked in and shut the door behind him.

"Hey, Judai-kun."

"Hey," Judai breathed.

"Were you…" Johan rubbed his thumb on Judai's cheek. "Were you crying?"

The brunette wanted to make up a lie but why? He already gave in to calling the boy. Mind as well go all the way. "A little." He wiped his face and showed Johan to the family room.

They sat down on the couch.

"What happened?" Johan asked. "Start from the very beginning."

Judai gulped. He had never opened up to anyone before but he gave it a shot.

He told him the story about his nightmares and how scared he was when it actually happened.

"So, she died?"

"No!" Judai exclaimed. "She's not dead! Everyone says that but she's not! She's out there, I know it!" He felt himself crying again but he didn't care.

Johan decided to go along with it. "Of course she is. I'm sorry." He put his arm around Judai's shoulders and told him to stop crying.

Judai was surprised. No one every apologized for making that mistake nor did they admit they were wrong. "Y-you believe me?"

"Of course I do." Johan didn't like lying to the boy but it was too soon for him to tell the truth about Megumi.

Judai continued his story about how Takeru and his friends bullied him and about his father being away.

"Oh my god. You're gonna be home alone for another day?"

"I hope not. That's why I called you. You were the only one I knew and I can't stand to be alone again." He sighed. "And Johan?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really sorry for being a jerk to you. You know, you're really not that bad."

The bluenette chuckled. "Why, thank you. And I was never angry with you."

The boy smiled. He thought opening up to someone was hard. And it was. But with Johan, it was different. He didn't try to argue. He just let him talk and never said anything except for words of encouragement so he could continue on.

Soon, it was eight o'clock, almost time for Judai to go to bed. But he didn't want Johan to leave his side. He was the only friend he had and he couldn't stand to be alone at night. Of course, he did it every night but Hiroshi was right across the hall and he came running whenever Judai was scared.

"Johan?"

The bluenette turned his head from the TV and looked at Judai.

"Um…would you be willing to…spend the night?"

He smiled. "Of course. Just let me call my mom." He searched his pocket. "Shoot, I left my phone at home. Can I use your house phone?"

"Yeah." Judai reached over and pulled out the cordless phone. "Here."

"Thanks." He dialed a number and put it to his ear. "Hey, Mom…yeah, I'm fine, I just called to ask you something…can I spend the night at Judai's house?…he's my friend…Ok…Thanks…Love you too…Bye."

He gave Judai a thumbs up.

"Yay!"

His excitement made Johan laugh.

"Ok, where do you wanna sleep? It's a pretty big house?"

"I dunno," was Johan's smart answer.

"Um, we can sleep in my room, my dad's room, here, the basement-"

"How about here?" Johan asked. "It's a pretty room."

Judai laughed. "Ok." He pressed a button on the side of the sofa and the bottom part pulled out to make a bed.

The bluenette's mouth dropped. "That's awesome."

"You don't have one of these?"

"Nuh-uh."

"Cool, then this can be your first time sleeping in one." He retrieved some pillows and blankets and brought them in.

About ten minutes later, the two of them were asleep. But even with Johan with him, Judai still had the same nightmare.

He sat up straight and panted. He tried to be quiet but still Johan shifted in his sleep.

"Ju-chan?"

He couldn't answer.

"Did you have the nightmare?"

Judai couldn't only whimper as tears built up in his eyes.

Johan wrapped his arms around him. "Ssh, everything's ok. Just go back to sleep."

The European's sweet smell put Judai to sleep again. And instead of watching Megumi's death, Judai dreamt of Johan leading him outside to a beautiful meadow. They lay down in the flowers and they watched scenes of happy moments of Judai and Megumi.

**THE NEXT MORNING**

The two woke up wrapped up in each other like they were since the last time they woke.

"Judai, c'mon, we've got to get ready for school."

Judai whined. "It's not Saturday yet?"

Johan laughed. "I wish. C'mon, get up."

Judai excused himself to see his mother. But instead of having a full conversation, he made it quick and then hurried back to Johan's side. He felt more safe than ever with him.

Soon, they were out the door and heading for school. And Takeru didn't bother trying to get near Judai because Johan walked in front of him and glared at everyone who dared to touch him.

Then they entered their homeroom and for the first time, Judai walked in with a small smile on his face which Johan found adorable. The bluenette would do anything to protect Yuki Judai. Anything.

**YEP THAT'S IT! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT! I'M GONNA START THE NEXT CHAPTER RIGHT AWAY SO THE STORY IS STILL VERY MUCH ALIVE. REVIEW PLZ!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okaaaaay, here's the next chapter. Like I said, I started this right after I finished chapter 3 so it took all of my strength not to give in and update again on the same day lol ENJOY!**

At lunch, Johan led Judai to table 12 where Jim and Asuka sat.

"C'mon, Judai they're not as bad as you think," Johan said as he continued pushing the brunette.

"No! They'll make fun of me!" he protested.

"No, they won't."

Eventually, Judai was convinced to sit with Johan and his friends.

"Hey, Jim, hey, Asuksa," the bluenette greeted.

"Hey, Johan," the two of them said.

"Guys, this is Judai."

_Like they don't know_, Judai thought.

"Hey, Judai."

"Hi," he said weakly.

By the end of the period, Jim and Asuka were almost as close to Judai as Johan was. Almost.

Then the bell rang and it was time to get back to class.

"See? That wasn't so bad," Johan said as he wrapped his arm around Judai's shoulders.

He winced a little.

"Sorry, are they still sore?"

"Just a tiny bit."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Jo-kun."

He sighed. "I suppose it's not."

"You _suppose_?"

"Don't push your luck."

Judai laughed. The feeling of warmth and love began to consume him and it made him blush. He never felt this way about anyone. It was a little scary but it also felt good. Fresh even. A clean start was all he needed after all.

Johan noticed the brunette's rosy cheeks and wanted to scoop him up and kiss him but he had a feeling Judai wasn't ready for that. He watched him struggle last night about opening up and he didn't want to scare him away with his true feelings.

**AFTER SCHOOL**

Johan met the brunette at his locker just in time for Takeru to walk out of his class.

"Hey."

Judai turned around and saw Johan smiling down at him. His teal hair was all over the place but it looked natural. His eyes roamed further down his body a gazed at his biceps. They were noticeable but not too big.

But before Judai could get too caught up in Johan's appearance, he remembered that he was speaking to him.

"Hi."

"Has Takeru been-"

"No," Judai interrupted. "Just a few glares but nothing too serious."

The bluenette nodded. "Good." He smiled again. "When will your dad be home?"

Judai gasped. He forgot that his father was gone. "Um, he said he'd be home by dinner."

"Do you want me to stay with you until then?"

"You don't have to."

"But do you _want_ me to is what I'm asking."

The brunette looked down. "Kinda," he murmured.

Johan chuckled. "Ok, let's go."

Judai got on his bike and Johan rode on his skateboard with a picture of Sapphire Pegasus on the bottom. Of course, you couldn't really tell because of the scratches from sliding on railings.

When they arrived at the house, the European sat with Judai on the couch and they watched a dueling match in England.

The match took a really long time. Both players were equally good and they kept drawing good cards! It eventually got repetitive. So Johan and Judai decided to have their own duel.

When they first took out their deck, Judai saw a strange looking cat crawl onto Johan's shoulder. It was a unique purplish color with ruby colored eyes and tail.

"Aw, it looks so cute," Judai said with a smile. Then he realized what he just said. He could see monster spirits again!

"Yeah, that's Rubi. She can-" he stopped momentarily. Johan was taken aback. "You can see monster spirits?"

Judai was so happy he started giggling. "I used to but I haven't been able to since Mom left!"

"Wow, that's cool. Is that Kuriboh?"

_Kuri! Kuri!_

"Hey, Kuriboh!" Judai greeted. He smiled at the little guy and he nuzzled his cheek with its brown fur.

The two had just finished shuffling their cards when they heard a door open and close.

"Judai?"

"DAD!" Judai jumped up from the floor and ran into Hiroshi's open arms.

Hiroshi was surprised by his son's movement and almost spilled his coffee. "How's my little boy, eh?"

"I'm alright. But dad, your breath smells."

He laughed. "I guess that's what I get from drinking coffee." He walked past Judai and put his things down. Then he looked to his right and saw another boy them. He seemed to be a little taller then Judai and he looked very respectful and modest.

"Ju-chan? Who's this?"

"I'm sorry, sir," the bluenette said. He stood up and offered his hand. "My name's Anderson Johan. I recently met Judai. I've been helping him around in school."

Hiroshi was so surprised that Judai made another friend while he was gone. He had been worried that Judai would've been devastated that he would be gone for a full forty-eight hours but it seemed he opened up more.

"No, you're fine. You're welcome to come by as much as you'd like."

Judai smiled at Johan and he smiled back.

Hiroshi yawned. "Now, if you'd excuse me, I'm gonna take an eight-hour nap."

The two of them chuckled and watched as Judai's father stumbled up the stairs.

After dinner, they finished their duel and Johan was convinced by Judai and Hiroshi to spend another night.

"Pretty please with the gem beasts on top?" Judai had begged while standing on his knees and fingers knit together. (A/N: sound familiar yauksiei?)

Johan couldn't give in to those pleading brown eyes. So he sighed and said, "Ok, I'll stay another night."

"YES!" the brunette cheered. Then an idea popped into his brain. He wanted Johan to meet Megumi. But maybe later. He would have to think of what he would say.

At around eight o'clock, Judai finally decided it was time.

"Jo-kun?"

"Hm?"

"I want you to meet someone."

"Who?"

The brunette motioned for Johan to follow him.

They walked upstairs and stood outside of Megumi's shrine.

"Are you ready?"

Johan nodded, already having an idea of what was going to happen. And frankly, he was giddy with excitement.

Judai opened the door and let Johan inside. They crouched in front of Megumi's picture and Johan gazed around at all the lit candles surrounding the picture.

"Hey, Mom," Judai greeted in a soft voice. "Sorry, we haven't spoken in a while." He tried to hold back his tears but Johan put a hand on his shoulder and said,

"You'd feel better if you let it out. You have no reason not to cry in front of me."

Judai couldn't find a reason not to obey so he allowed the tears to fall free from his eyes. "Mom, I want you to meet someone. His name's Johan. He's really nice. He's been helping me in school."

"Hello, Mrs. Yuki," Johan greeted. He thought it would be awkward talking to a picture but there was so much positive energy in this room it was like she was standing in front of him. "It's nice to finally meet you. Your son is a really good friend. You should be proud of him."

Megumi's picture stared back. But the real Megumi was up in the sky and smiling down upon her son and his new friend. Part of her spirit stayed inside that picture and watched Judai laugh and cry and she found it astounding.

Judai sniffed. "Well, as much as I'd like to stay here and chat, I think I should get back with my bo-friend." _Oh my god!_ he thought. _What the hell was that? He's not your boyfriend! You're such an idiot!_

Luckily, Johan didn't seem to notice his struggle for words. They simply walked back downstairs and talked more about their family history. Soon, they feel asleep on the pull out couch again.

That night, Judai didn't have his usual nightmare but he woke up anyway. He looked to his left and saw it would've been time to get up for school. But it was a Saturday.

Then, he looked to his right and saw Johan and he couldn't resist the urge to cuddle next to him.

The brunette quietly scooted over to Johan's side and slid himself in his arms.

Johan inhaled slowly. "Judai?"

"Sorry, I um, I got cold."

"Mm." Johan pulled Judai closer and he blushed. "Better?"

"Mhm," Judai mumbled as he drifted back to sleep.

_Me too_, the European thought.

**Okkkkkk, that's pretty much it. I'll update again later. I have a bit of a surprise. Well, not really. Whatever, just come to see the next chapter k? lol and wish yauksiei a happy birthday for me!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! Sorry I didn't update in a while. Writer's Block is number 1 on my Enemies List. And when I finally came up with something, my mother took away my laptop for not doing the dishes *groan* but I'm here now! I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

Johan woke to the sweet smell of…chocolate? Not that he was complaining but why was he smelling chocolate?

The bluenette opened his eyes to something a whole lot better than chocolate.

_Judai…_

He looked so beautiful while he slept. But to Johan's dismay, he awoke. That was immediately made up for when he found the brunette's eyes.

"Good morning," Johan said with a smile playing at his lips.

"Morning," Judai replied. He knew he should've been worried about morning breath but he couldn't bring himself to care.

They locked eyes- and probably would've stayed that way- until Hiroshi chose that moment to enter the room.

"Hello, children!"

Judai snapped out of his trance and was taken over by panic.

"What should we have for breakfast?" Judai's father continued.

"U-um, I-I dunno. "Jo-kun what do you want?"

"Cereal's fine," Johan answered.

"Coming right up."

Judai sighed in relief as no one noticed his stuttering. He had already befriended the European and didn't want to push his luck.

Johan saw his struggle and changed the subject. "So, what do you wanna do today?"

Judai smiled. "Well, there's a skating rink around the corner. I was thinking later, we could go."

"Sure, Ju-chan."

After breakfast and a very _long_ duel, they headed for the skating park.

When they finally arrived after Judai's constant whining that Johan was going too fast, they headed for the biggest ramp.

The two stood at the top and prepared for the ride.

"Ok," the bluenette started. "On three, we go. One…two…three!"

With a loud cheer, they rolled down only to land on top of each other.

They laughed at their pains and tried again and again- each time failing miserably.

Hours later, Judai and Johan were at the ice cream parlor. Of course, Judai got chocolate while Johan got strawberry.

"Mmm," Judai moaned. "This is _so_ good!"

Johan chuckled and wiped the ice cream off of the boy's nose. And when he pulled his hand back, his eyes made their way to meet Judai's again.

Judai forced his eyes away before he could do anything else and continued eating.

Johan tried to hide his sadness with a fake smile and finished off his ice cream cone.

That night, the European was sent home. But that didn't stop them from talking all night.

They talked about new cards they planned on getting, a tiny bit of Judai's mother and preparations for tomorrow. You didn't think they'd go a whole twenty-four hours without seeing each other, did you?

They planned on going Go-Karting with Jim and Asuka and Laser-Tag to end the night.

Judai slept with excitement still coursing through him. And when he did find the ability to fall asleep, he dreamt of Johan.

**THE NEXT DAY**

Sunday morning- well, afternoon- Judai resorted to jumping on the bed the minute he woke up.

Hiroshi walked in to see what the noise was and gave Judai and inquisitive look. "What are you doing?"

"Noooothin'" the brunette sang.

"How many times have I told you not to jump on the bed?" he scolded.

Judai thought. "Never."

Hiroshi hid his smile with a small, "Hmph." He loved that Judai was getting more active. "Well, I'm telling you now. Stop jumping on the bed."

Judai nodded with a smile and watched his father leave.

**LATER**

Just after six, the whole gang met up and walked to the fair where they hosted the Go-Karting and Laser-Tag.

Of course, Judai and Johan paired up as Jim and Asuka made the other team.

After strapping themselves in, Johan and Judai zoomed off down the track.

Considering Judai didn't even know what Go-Karting was until Johan told him over the phone, he did a fairly well job at steering the vehicle.

The two ended up winning the race and they jumped out of their Go-Kart and started cheering very loudly.

The Aussi nudged Asuka and the two of them watched in amusement.

Johan picked up the small brunette and started spinning him round and round.

Jim and Asuka had a silent conversation and smirked.

The bluenette finally put Judai on his feet and the group headed toward the battlefield for Laser-Tag.

They stuck with their original teams and got dressed in their "armor".

When the game started, Johan led Judai to two pillars to hide behind. And just when he heard someone approaching, he was surprised to watch Judai slide across the floor while shooting at whoever it was.

"Shit," said target murmured. "Jim, I'm out!"

_Asuka_, Johan thought. He gave Judai a thumbs up.

The brunette only nodded with a smug grin.

They snuck over to the other side in search for Jim.

Suddenly, Johan heard someone scream, "Ha!" He turned around only to be shot at.

The Australian chuckled and disappeared back into the darkness.

"Ju-chan, I'm out!" he called. Then he walked into a different room where Asuka sat to watch the game. From here, you could see exactly where Judai and Jim were. It was like they were right in front of them.

A couple minutes of shooting, the two of them were hiding behind the same pillar without knowing.

Judai did a back flip and shot at Jim but he was just a tad slow. "Well, pooh," he whined.

They walked in and sat by their partners.

"Oh my god!" Johan laughed. "Where'd you learn those moves?"

"Video games," Judai answered as if it were completely normal. "But I guess I didn't do too well," he said as he looked at his feet.

"Are you kidding?" Jim practically screamed. "That was amazing!"

"Yeah," Asuka agreed. "You got me out on the spot."

"And the way you made a body-slide? Very cool," Johan added.

"Thanks," Judai muttered as a blushed crept up on his cheeks.

They found their way outside and started taking off their gear.

"Ow!"

"What?" Johan asked.

"The Velcro's stuck to my hair," said Judai.

Johan walked over and gently tugged his hair free. He locked eyes with Judai again. _What is it with him and his eyes?_ Johan thought.

But this time, Judai didn't look away.

They both leaned in slowly. When their faces were almost touching, Judai closed is eyes in anticipation of the kiss.

Their noses had just made contact when Judai's cell phone started ringing.

Judai's eyes snapped open and he pulled away to answer the call.

"Hello?"

"Judai, it's a school night," Hiroshi stated. "Why aren't you home yet?"

"Sorry, Dad. We lost track of time. We're on our way home now."

"Alright. See you soon."

"Bye." He snapped the phone closed. "My dad wants me home."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot it was a school night," Asuka said with a slight pout. "Crap, I feel like we just got here."

They all laughed as they headed home.

Minutes later, Judai and Johan were the only ones left. The other two were already home. They had passed it somewhere up the way.

Finally, they arrived at the brunette's house.

The two stood to face each other an awkward silence.

Johan cleared his throat. "Well, it was…it was, um, good to…you know…hang out. Again."

Judai giggled lightly. "Same to you." He turned to look at the door. "Um, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow."

The two turned their respectable ways and left.

Judai walked in and leaned against the door as he sighed in contentment.

"Judai? Is that you?" Hiroshi called from the family room.

"Yeah, it's me. I'm going up to bed."

"Alright. Goodnight!"

"Night." Judai trudged up the stairs and replayed all that had happened over the weekend. Then he groaned loudly. Today he had too much fun. He only hoped the school week would come to an end…fast.

**And that's it. I hoped you liked it! Review plz! Again I'm sorry for not updating in longer than a week!**

**l**

**l**

**v**


	6. Chapter 6

**Yay! I'm so happy to be updating again! I would've waited longer but since I made u guys wait longer than I week I told myself that you should get a little extra something for waiting so patiently.**

**I hope you enjoy it!**

Judai woke up way too early than he wanted to. But of course, he didn't have a choice.

"Stupid school," he grumbled. Then he got out of bed and started his morning rituals.

Later, Judai managed to get dressed and head down for breakfast without passing out from exhaustion.

"Morning, Judai," his father greeted.

"Morning, Dad." He practically inhaled his eggs and was soon on his bike, racing to school.

Judai arrived a few minutes early and kept glancing inside the rooms, not sure what he was looking for. It was when he finally found it, he knew.

The European walked into the building and smiled at the small brunette.

Judai sighed in relief and walked to his locker.

**AT LUNCH**

Jim, Judai, Asuka and Johan were talking about their Sunday and started laughing at something Asuka had said.

"Aaaaw! Looks like Judai-kun has some new friends!" Takeru said sarcastically.

Judai's smile slowly faded while Johan's glare sharpened.

"Can you please get away from our table?" Asuka asked, clearly irritated.

"Oh, I see." Takeru tapped his chin, feigning thought. "Nope."

She huffed.

"Well you know what?" Johan snapped.

"What?"

"Asuka asked you very nicely. And unfortunately, I'm _not_ so nice. So, _get the hell away from our fucking table._"

"Uh-oh, we got the little turd angry!" He and his friends laughed. Then one of them nudged Judai's head causing him to whimper.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Judai. We'll leave you alone."

"But before we go," one of them said, "Here, Takeru, give him some milk."

"Good idea." Takeru unscrewed the cap and poured it all over Judai's head.

The brunette gasped as the milk traveled down his neck and into his clothes.

Johan stood up and slammed his pizza in Takeru's face. "Payback's a bitch, ain't it?"

Jim stood up too while holding his tray of food. "FOOD FIGHT!" He screamed.

In unison, everyone stood up and began throwing food.

Before Judai and Johan could get their clothes too messed up, they snuck out of the cafeteria and started laughing.

"Do you think we should go get someone to stop it?" Judai laughed.

Johan thought for a moment. "Nah, let's just watch."

They sat down in the hallway and watched their friends smother Takeru in food. And Asuka was kicking ass!

It was when they heard keys clinking together stood up and acted as if they just got out of the room.

The principle came around the corner and his jaw dropped. "What in tar nation?"

"We had nothing to do with it!" the two cried.

"Of course you didn't. You're better than that."

_Sweet!_ Judai thought.

**AFTER LUNCH**

Judai and Johan were still laughing at the thought that neither they nor their friends got in trouble for the food fight. Takeru and his gang were forced to stay after lunch period cleaning up.

The two of them sat in history class and were trembling with laughter.

After their giggles subsided, they started passing notes when the lesson got boring.

_Do we have gym today?_ Judai's note read.

_Yeah, why?_ Johan replied.

Judai stiffened slightly. _Do you know what we're doing?_

_I think we're climbing ropes. Are you ok?_

_Yeah, I'm fine._ Judai pushed his nervousness down and forced himself to have a good time with Johan.

Judai wanted class to go slowly so he wouldn't have to go to gym as fast as he would but of course, it went quickly.

_Shit!_ he thought as he stood in front of the boy's locker room. He took a deep breath and walked in.

After dressing in the uniform, he made his way into the gym. And sure enough, there was a huge rope hanging there.

"Hey Ju-chan!"

He turned around and his fear was taken away as he stared at the bluenette. "Hey."

"I _really_ don't feel like doing this," he laughed.

_Trust me, it's a whole lot easier for you_, he thought. "You'll do fine."

"Thanks."

"Anderson!" the teacher called. "You're up."

Johan nodded and stepped up to the rope. He jumped on and easily pulled himself to the top in less that five seconds. Then he slid back down.

"Good." He called off the list and finally got to the last one.

"Judai. You're on, buddy." He winked.

Judai smiled lightly and stepped up. He took a deep breath and reached out for the rope.

When his hands wrapped around it, nothing happened. Confidence stirred in him and he tightened his grip.

What a huge mistake, that was.

Everything nerve shut down in Judai's body and he collapsed to the ground. He could faintly hear the laughter and someone calling out his name.

His body tightened up as the images started up again and he shook like crazy.

After the horrid memories of Megumi, everything went black and someone stood in front of him.

_Johan?_ _Judai tried to speak but he couldn't find his voice._

"_Judai," the European sighed. He shook his head and said, "I'm gone."_

"JUDAI!"

The brunette's eyes snapped open to meet a pair of green ones. He hopped into Johan's arms and started sobbing.

Johan was clearly shocked. He didn't know what was happening. Sure, he saw him break down before but not like this.

The boy started blubbering something about not leaving him and he could only wonder what he saw while he was unconscious for the past fifteen minutes.

"I'll take him to the nurse," Johan said as he picked up the boy and carried him out of the gym.

They finally reached the nurse's office as Judai's cries finally ended.

"Hey guys!" Mrs. Ayukawa greeted. "What's the matter?"

"Um, nothing," Johan lied. "We just needed a place to talk where no one would eavesdrop. Do you mind?"

"Of course not. Go right ahead. I'll go into the back."

"Thanks." He turned toward Judai. "What's going on? You told me that you were ok and it's obvious you're not."

Judai sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just…I have a _thing_ for ropes."

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

Judai rolled his eyes. "My mom was strangled with a rope. And sometimes when I come near one, I think I'll disappear too."

Johan was about to question his choice of words when he remembered Judai thought Megumi was still alive somewhere. "Right. Um, look, it's ok to be afraid. I would be too if I were in your shoes."

"In my shoes? But you're, like, a size bigger than me."

Johan chuckled. "It's a figure of speech. Anyway, next time just tell me. I'll try to help as best I can."

The brunette nodded. A blush showed itself as he looked down. He was too embarrassed to look at Johan at this point. He felt so…pitiful…helpless.

"Judai, look at me."

He shook his head.

Johan put two fingers underneath his chin and pushed it upward. "That blush of yours is really cute."

Judai giggled as he blushed harder.

"Can I come over after school."

"Of course. You don't have to ask. You're practically family."

"Thanks."

Their eyes linked together. And just like yesterday, their heads seemed to have some sort of magnetic force toward each other.

The two of them fluttered their eyes shut as their noses touched.

_Please don't let a phone ring, please don't let a phone ring_, Johan kept thinking.

Their lips touched and Judai closed in the small gap and completed the kiss.

Johan licked Judai's bottom and he panicked. He realized what was happening and before he could stop himself, he pushed Johan away.

"Ju-chan?"

"I-I'm sorry," he panted.

"No, _I'm_ sorry. Are you ok?"

He nodded. "Let's get back to class."

"Ok." He couldn't help but feel depressed. He thought things were going well. _Well, if it wasn't one thing, its gotta be another_, he though glumly.

They walked back to gym and they sat back and watched the class play games.

Judai would have to explain to Johan that he just couldn't be any more than friends. He had to understand that. Because if he didn't, he wasn't sure what would happen after that. He couldn't even think of half of the things that would go wrong without him.

He sighed. If only he had the guts to…

**Yeah, that's pretty much it. I hoped you enjoyed it! Leave me a review!**

**l**

**l**

**V**


	7. Chapter 7

**Heeeeelllloooooo! I feel like I haven't updated in a while. Sorry! And the summer's coming soon! YAAAAAAAY! I will try to update every other day when that date comes. SO BE PREPARED lol**

**ENJOY!**

After school that day, Johan decided to go home since Judai was feeling awkward after their kiss-or whatever it was. He didn't want Judai to feel pressured so he told Judai that he had a project to work on and walked home.

Johan sat down on the couch and stared at his cell phone, trying to decide whether to call him or not.

When he thought he couldn't take it, he stood up and started pacing while gripping his hair.

_Call him_, a voice said.

_No! Don't call him. You need a distraction._

_His beautiful brown hair…_

_STOP IT!_

He huffed and picked up his phone and dialed Asuka's number. Hopefully they could strike a conversation so he wouldn't have to think about you-know-who.

Meanwhile, Judai sat at the kitchen table and tried to figure things out.

_Ok_, he thought. _First, I had a panic attack. Second, I had a…vision of loosing Johan._ He couldn't help the shudder. _Third, Johan took me to the nurse's office. And last, I…_kissed_ him._

He shook his head. It wasn't a kiss. It was just a mistake. It didn't mean anything…right? He wasn't sure which one to believe. His head or his heart?

But his heart was already hurting. His heart had been ripped from his chest and stomped on when Megumi went away. He was lucky it was in good enough condition to keep beating.

And yet, it still wanted more. Or was it tricking him?

"DAMNIT!" he screamed as he banged his head on the table. "What's wrong with me?"

"Judai?"

His head snapped up.

Hiroshi walked in and ruffled his hair with a smile. "Hey, kiddo."

"You're home early."

"Yeah, it's been real crazy at work today and I told a little white lie to get out." He chuckled. "How was school?"

Judai swallowed the small lump in his throat. "It was, um…it was decent."

Hiroshi looked back at Judai but only to find him fumbling with his phone. He never heard him talk like that before. "Huh."

When dinner came, Judai grabbed a plate of food and excused himself from the table.

He walked up to Megumi's shrine. It seems like forever since he'd been there.

The brunette crouched down and took a bite. "Hey, Mom," he said after he swallowed. "I know its been long since I had dinner with you. Sorry. I just wanted to talk to you about something. Well, some_one_.

"Um, you remember Johan? Well, today at school, we kinda…kissed. But then I pushed him away 'cause I thought that was best to do. But now that I think about it, I'm starting to regret it. Or am I?"

He groaned. "I can't get my thoughts together. I mean, I know there's a part of me that's attracted to him but there's this other part and…I dunno. It scares me. I just don't know what to do." He sighed and took a slow bite of his food.

"Why can't you just come home? I could really use some of your wisdom right now. Please?"

He slowly finished his dinner and left the room silently.

**THE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL**

Judai purposely arrived at school early. He sent a text to Johan telling him to meet him in the back where the woods were.

"Judai? Are you here?" Johan asked breathlessly. The minute he got the text, he threw himself out the door to meet the boy.

"Yeah," he croaked. He cleared his throat. "Over here."

The bluenette followed the sound of his voice and saw him sitting on one of the branches of the tree.

He jumped up and pulled himself up to Judai's height and sat down next to him. "Hey."

"Hey," Judai repeated. "We need to talk."

Johan bit his tongue to keep a sarcastic comment from coming out. No matter how much he might love the little brunette, he couldn't help but feel frustrated from his slightly slow brain functions. (A/N: sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound like an insult)

"You know…about yesterday-"

"Ju-chan, you don't have to explain yourself to me. I-"

"Yes, I do. You're my best friend." He paused to think of what he would say. "I know…I know that we may have kissed yesterday but I need you to know that it meant nothing. And it was nothing personal when I pushed you away."

Johan only nodded.

"And…I know you have feelings for me."

The European's eyes widened.

"And to be honest, I don't have a problem with it. But, you have to know that…it's _literally_ impossible for you to make a move like that again."

"Why?" The question slipped out before Johan could stop it.

"Because…'cause you're gonna wreck everything." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm broken. And you can't just take a roll of duct tape and put me back together."

Johan tilted his head as he listened further. This was the first time Judai had ever opened up like this.

"And…and I need you. For _everything_. And if you…if you go away…" he couldn't finish the sentence. He just shook his head and tried to push his tears back.

Johan scooted closer and hugged the brunette. "Judai, I need you to listen to me." He waited until he nodded. "I'm _never_ going anywhere. I promise."

"Ok."

The first bell rand and the two of them hopped down and ran to homeroom.

And for the rest of the day, Judai and Johan were silent. They only spoke when absolutely necessary.

But right now, the two were just _being_ with each other. They didn't need to talk or anything. They just needed to _be._

**Ok, I know that was a really short chapter. Sorry! Hopefully I'll do better next time. Stay tuned! Oh great, now I sound like a lame TV show lol. Review!**

**l**

**l**

**V**


	8. Chapter 8

**Me: Hello again! Sorry for not updating in a while. WOOT GO SUMMER! Lol I hope your enjoying it so far. OMG SUMMER! Sorry I seriously can't get over the fact that's it's actually here! AND THERE'S ONLY EIGHT MORE DAYS TILL ECLIPSE COMES OUT!**

**Yauksiei: Ew! You mean, Ed-weirdo? C'mon, Bri, he flippin **_**sparkles**_**! And good luck trying to find it on the GaymcGay channel.**

**Me: *pouty face* let's start the chapter…*still pouting***

Johan and Judai sat in the same tree they did that morning, just basking in the warmth of each other.

"Judai, can I ask you a personal question?" the European asked, breaking the silence.

"Sure."

"How many times do you visit your mother's shrine?"

Judai thought for a minute. "Not a lot. I used to do it every morning and every night. But I don't anymore. I'm not sure why. Are you saying I should start visiting her more often?"

"No, no, I was just asking. It seems like all the pressure's starting to wear off of you."

"Yeah, I guess your right. But, it all comes back when…never mind."

"What?"

"Nothing, it's stupid."

"Ju-chan, please? Tell me."

He sighed. "It all comes back when you're not there. It's easier when I can feel you near me. Your just so…bright."

He laughed. "Well, thanks."

"It's the truth."

"I believe you."

It became silent again. But Johan could tell that Judai wanted to say more. He waited for him to speak up because if he pushed him, it could end badly.

"Johan?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think she's still out there? Megumi?"

Johan sighed. _It's time to tell him_, he thought. "Were you and your dad still living here when she…left?"

"Yeah, why?"

Johan swallowed hard. He knew where Megumi was now. "I think I should show you something."

The bluenette hopped down and waited for Judai.

"Where are we going?" he asked when he finally had his feet on the ground.

"I'm gonna show you where your mom is."

"You know where she is!" Judai squealed.

Johan smiled a sad smile. "Yeah. C'mon."

They walked a few blocks before the big black gate came to view.

"Oh my god," Judai whispered. But he kept walking.

They walked through to the cemetery and walked all the way to the back where the Y's were.

Johan looked down the row and stopped when he saw the name Megumi Yuki. He had to blink back his own tears when he saw the brunette's face. "Judai, I'm so sorry I never told you before."

He didn't answer. He just stared at the tombstone in shock. Then he dropped down to his knees and placed his head in his hands as he cried.

The bluenette got down to Judai's level and pulled him into his lap. "Shh, it's ok. Everything's gonna be ok."

"She's dead!" he wailed. "She's really dead!"

Johan continued to hush him. "It's ok. It's alright." A tear slipped down his own cheek as he listened to the heartbroken boy sob.

Endless minutes later, Judai stopped and looked back up at his Megumi's grave as he thought.

_Why is this happening to me?_ he thought. He looked up at Johan. "Can you come home with me? I don't wanna talk to Hiroshi about this and I don't wanna be alone either."

"Sure. Let's go."

As they walked, Johan couldn't stop the regret from rising in him. He had been doing so well and now he had to start back from square one.

_But he would've had to start back further if you allowed him to believe in that lie any longer_, a voice said.

He supposed it had a point. But it was still hard to see him like this. "Do you want some ice cream?"

Judai sniffed. "No, I don't want you to waste your money on me. Especially not now."

"Well, I want to. So let's go."

They walked over to the ice cream parlor and got the same flavors they had gotten that one day in the park.

"Thanks, Johan," Judai said with a smirk. "I really could use something sweet."

"Well, you know what people say: Chocolate can mend a broken heart."

"You know, I think it does 'cause I'm feeling a little better."

They laughed.

"Or maybe it's just you," Judai thought further.

Johan looked over and saw nothing but love in the brunette's eyes. But then it was glazed over with panic. "As a friend I mean."

Johan sighed. "Of course," he said as he tried to hide the sad in his voice.

They arrived at the house just as they finished their treat.

"So what do you wanna do?" Johan asked.

"Can we just watch a movie? I don't feel like doing anything today."

"Sure. Should we make it a comedy?"

"Please," Judai laughed.

Johan searched through their collection of DVD's. Then he gasped when he came upon one. "You have Monty Python?"

"Yeah, my dad bought it but I never watched it. Is it good?"

The bluenette threw his head back as he laughed. "You bet!" He put the disc in and sat next to Judai as the credits came on the screen.

When the movie ended, the two of them were still laughing as they remembered past scenes.

"Your mother was a hamster!" Johan said in a French accent.

"And your father smelt of elderberries!" Judai finished.

They continued to laugh until Hiroshi walked into the room. "Johan, it's nearly nine o'clock. I think you should head home."

"Ok. Thanks for letting me come over."

"You're always welcome."

"Ju-chan, will you be ok?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

They hugged for a solid minute before Johan left.

It was then that Judai felt all of the weight of the day fell on his shoulders. He sighed as he tried not to let the tears build up as he trudged up the steps and into his room.

He tried not to make eye contact with his mother's shrine as he opened the door.

The brunette closed his eyes and he saw Johan. But behind him, he could faintly see Megumi but his eyes were glued to Johan's.

He slept nightmare-free surprisingly. When he woke up, he realized that he was in love with Johan. But he still wasn't ready. It was too much to handle.

Before class started Johan asked him if he had any trouble sleeping last night.

And Judai answered truthfully when he said, "I slept like a baby."

**Yeah another short chapter. Sorry about that. I hope you enjoyed it anyway! Review plz!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Yay, I'm updating again cuz I'm bored! WOOT! Lol I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm kinda free-writing it cuz I don't know what I want to happen next so…yeah. ENJOY!**

After school, Judai couldn't help but feel a little upset that Hiroshi never told him the truth.

"Judai are you ok?" Johan asked as he walked him to his bike.

"Yeah. Just kinda mad that my dad never told me the truth, you know?"

"I would feel upset too. But he was only trying to protect you."

"I know. I'm gonna talk about it with him when I get home."

"Do you want me there with you?"

"No, I'll be ok."

"Alright. But go easy on him. I'm sure he's upset about it too. She was his wife after all."

Judai smiled. "Thanks, Johan." He hugged him. "I owe you."

_No you don't_, Johan thought. _I've already got everything I need right here._ "Don't worry about it, Ju-chan. Just…be careful with him."

"Ok. I'll see you later."

"Ok, call me and tell me how it goes if you get the chance."

"I will." The brunette hopped on his bike and started down the street.

When he got home, he slowly made his way up the steps and into the house. Since Hiroshi had the day off, he was on the couch reading the paper.

"Dad?" he called out.

"Yeah?" he answered, his nose still in the paper.

"Can I talk to you for a minute? Maybe longer."

Hiroshi looked up and saw Judai standing in an awkward position. His shoulders were tight and his hands were shoved tightly in his pockets as he tried to take deep breaths but they sounded labored.

"What's up?"

"I wanted to ask you about…about Mom."

He patted the seat next to him. "Sit down, son."

Judai sat down and stared at his hands.

"You're mother was-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" he interrupted.

Hiroshi was taken aback.

Judai looked up with anger in his eyes when he didn't answer. "Why didn't you tell me the truth?" he snapped.

"Oh god," Hiroshi whispered. "Who told you?"

Judai rolled his eyes. "Pretty much half the school!"

"And you choose now to believe it? Judai, who told you?" he asked again.

"Johan did."

Hiroshi grumbled something about not allowing him to visit anymore.

"Dad! I shouldn't have to find out something like that from someone I've only known for a couple weeks. I should've found out from you! You're my father!"

"Don't talk to me with that tone!"

"I can and I will!" He yelled. "Why didn't you tell me? And don't try to change the subject again."

"I was trying to protect you!"

"That's not protecting me! That's _lying_ to me!"

"I never lied to you!"

"But you didn't tell me the truth!"

"It was for your own good! You weren't ready to know yet."

"Dad, that was when I was four! Now look at me! I'm almost eighteen years old. Almost at the age where I'll be considered an adult."

"Well with the way you're acting, you're nowhere close to being considered an adult!"

"With the way, _I'm_ acting? Look at you! You're a middle-aged man who still doesn't have the courage to tell his own son that his mother's dead!"

"Ok! Fine! I'll admit it! It wasn't responsible to keep this away from you."

"Ya think?"

"_However_, you're at as much fault as I am! An adult wouldn't be this selfish!"

"How am I being selfish! I'm the only one who taking this seriously! My mother's dead! She's never coming back!"

"You're not the only one who's lost someone, Judai! Megumi was the love of my life! I've known her for twenty-three years! I'm heartbroken too!"

Judai sucked in a breath as he realized his father was right. But he couldn't help the anger rising up in him. "I hate you!" Then before he could reach the steps, the tears started spilling over and he locked himself in his room and cried into his pillow.

Hiroshi stood in shock as his own tears slipped down his face. Never, had Judai ever said those words to him. Sure, he got mad at him every once in a while but he had _never_ said those words.

He huffed as he ran his hands over his face to wipe his tears away. He turned on the TV but he didn't listen or pay attention to any of it. He just kept replaying Judai's words.

_I hate you!_

He closed his eyes as he winced. He wanted to go check on Judai and apologize but knowing Judai, he just wanted to be alone to think. Or to cry.

He sighed knowing that he was the reason for making his son cry.

Meanwhile, Judai's cries had come to a minimum. His sadness changed back to anger and Judai felt a searing pain in the middle of his heart but he welcomed it.

Soon, he became unconscious and could've sworn someone with a deep dark voice had said,

_**Allow me to take over.**_

Haou was now in business and unlike Judai, he wouldn't allow anyone to give him any crap without being punished.

He was about to walk downstairs to give Judai's father a piece of his mind when Judai's phone buzzed. He picked up and saw he had a text.

From Johan? As it Yohan's lighter side?

_Read it_, Judai thought to him.

_**Yeah, yeah**_, Haou replied. He opened the message and read: How'd it go?

_Not so gr8. Ill tell u bout it l8r_, Haou replied.

_K c u 2morrow_

Haou rolled his eyes and got up from bed and headed toward the door.

_Wait, Haou_, Judai said. _Please don't do anything to him._

_**Why? He's the one who put you through this pain, isn't he?**_

_No. He was only trying to help._

Haou groaned and left the room. He went down in the basement and turned on a small lamp. Then he closed his eyes and called the Shadows.

They began to form around Haou's body.

When he opened his golden eyes, he manipulated the Shadows to make different shapes. It was his favorite thing to do when he got bored.

.

Johan sat in his room and stared at his phone. Judai had told him that their discussion didn't go so well.

The only thing that the bluenette wanted to do was to go over Judai's home and cuddle with him until he felt better. But he couldn't.

Not only would that be awkward and rude, it would also probably crush him. There was a good chance that the reason Judai didn't want to talk about it was because he was ashamed that he was so sensitive to the situation.

He sighed and replied some sort of reply about seeing him tomorrow. Then he stared at the ceiling and counted all the tiles one by one. And again. And again. He was in the middle of counting them the fifth time but before he could finish, his eyes drifted shut and he slept.

The next morning, he had said goodbye to his mother and was on his skateboard heading to school.

He was looking forward to seeing Judai but he was nowhere to be found. Maybe he was late?

Johan tried to distract himself with his work but his thoughts kept running back to the small brunette.

Where was he?

Well, Judai wasn't in control at this time. Haou was still inside of him asleep on the basement floor with the dark shadows still surrounding him.

He was suddenly woken up with someone calling Judai's name.

"Judai, wake up," Hiroshi said again. "Johan's here to see you."

Haou only glared at him.

"Did you get contacts?"

He groaned and brushed past him and over to where Johan stood.

The bluenette was about to greet him with a big smile until he saw how different he looked.

"Judai? What happened?"

"Nothing," Haou answered.

Johan jumped at the sound of his voice. It sounded as if he were imitating Dark Vader but _deeper_ if that were possible.

_Wait_, Johan thought for a second. _It's his dark side isn't it? Damn!_

Johan had already been there and it was harder then hell to get back out. "Judai, are you still in there."

Haou chuckled. "Wow, you catch on quickly."

_Tell him, I'm still here Haou!_ Judai whined inside.

_**NO! Just let me do the talking.**_

_Haou!_

"Wake him up," Johan ordered.

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I just got used to him kicking and screaming inside me and I'm not gonna let all that practice go to waste."

"So he's awake?"

_Yes!_ Judai screamed as loud as he could.

This caused Haou to jerk backwards slightly.

Johan lifted a brow. Then his face lit up. "Was that him?"

Haou only glared and started to spaz as Judai started jumping and screaming as if on a sugar rush.

_**STOP!**_ he yelled.

_Oh, sorry, am I too much for you?_ Judai asked sarcastically.

Johan smiled as he saw Judai working his way through his dark side. "C'mon, Judai, you can do it," he whispered.

Haou suddenly stiffened and his spazzing stopped.

_**Ha. Beat that.**_

Johan looked around the corner looking to see if Hiroshi was in hearing distance. He wasn't. He was already at the top of the stairs and heading toward his room.

Johan started humming Judai's favorite song and Haou started to stagger slightly. But he kept control

The European hummed louder and Haou had to put a scowl on his face as he tried to strain Judai.

Then he started singing. _"He's my best friend, best of all best friends. Do you have a best friend too? It tickles in my tummy! He's so yummy, yummy, hey you should get a best friend too!"_

Haou actually groaned and his eyes began to flicker as if he were loosing power. Then, all of a sudden, his eyes grew so bright, Johan couldn't stare directly at him or else it would blind him.

"Why can't you just let him go?" Johan snapped.

"Because," Haou started, "This way, he'll never get hurt again." He summoned the Shadows again and that was Johan's sign to get the hell out of there.

So Johan scurried out and headed home.

_What the hell?_ he thought. _Why is he so strong? Mine was never this hard. It only took someone that I really cared about to talk to me, to wake me up. Well, Judai was wide awake and was trying his hardest to break free. But he wasn't strong enough. It was almost like his dark side had…a bond with him._

He sighed as he figured out what was happening. Unlike his dark side, Judai's cared for him. He didn't want him to get hurt and because of that, he wouldn't let go.

And the only thing he could think of to try to help him was very dangerous. He'd be risking everything by doing it.

But it was Judai we were talking about. He'd do anything for him.

**And that's it. I hope you liked it! Review please!**

**l**

**l**

**v**


	10. Chapter 10

**Ok, time to update again! Yay! I hope you enjoy it! BEGIN!**

Johan stood in his room pacing. He had tried to think sad thoughts. Things so miserable that he actually winced even though he didn't believe it.

But of course, his dark side wasn't fooled.

He stood in front of his mirror and groaned at his reflection. "C'mon!" He yelled. "All of the other times you've come without warning. But now, I'm calling for you. Where are you?"

Nothing…

He sighed. There goes his hope for helping Judai. But suddenly he felt a stirring inside him. He looked at himself and saw Yohan's ghostly figure standing next to him.

He turned and jumped when he realized how close he was standing. "You came…"

"Yes, I believe you called," he said in a low voice.

Johan nodded.

Yohan rolled his eyes. "Fine." Then he merged his soul with Johan's and that was it.

_**I hope you're happy now**_, Yohan thought to his other side.

_I am. But guess what?_ Johan replied.

_**What?**_

_I saw someone like you. He has a dark side. Perhaps you know him?_

_**Who?**_

_I don't know his name but his lighter side is named Judai. Ring any bells?_

_**Haou…**_

_Dark brown hair, gold eyes?_

_**Yeah.**_

_That's him._

_**Yeah, I kinda figured that, idiot.**_

_I'm gonna ignore that_.

Yohan exited the room and headed toward Judai's house. He knocked on the door and Hiroshi answered.

"Hello, Johan," he greeted. "Did you get contacts too? Is that the new thing?"

Yohan sighed an aggravated sigh. "Is Ha-Judai here?"

"Yes, he's down in the basement."

Yohan pushed past him and entered the basement. He saw Haou sitting on the floor playing with his own shadows.

"You never changed," he said.

The brunette looked up with wide eyes. "Yohan?"

"Hey."

Haou stood and walked over to the bluenette. "Where've you been?"

"In the Dark World. I've been looking for you."

"Of course you were," Haou said with a roll of his eyes. "What did you want?"

"Just wanted to see you," he said with a knowing smirk.

"You are such a perv!" Haou snapped.

"And you love me for it."

"No, I don't!"

Yohan lightly grabbed Haou's chin and kissed him.

Haou never pulled away which caused Yohan to chuckle. "You lied."

"Shut up!" Haou wanted to scold him further but Judai was writhing in him and it took his a minute to control him.

"What was that?" Yohan asked.

"It's Judai. He wants to get out but I won't let him."

"Well, why don't you? Isn't that what we're supposed to do? Wait till they wake up and then leave?"

"Yeah, but I don't wanna see him get hurt again."

"Oh, c'mon, Haou. Just let the boy go and we can meet up in the Dark World. We can…_have some fun_." He winked.

Haou cringed. "Now, I'm _really_ not letting him go!"

Yohan placed his lips to the spot where Haou's shoulder met his neck. "How 'bout now?" He slowly lifted his head and flicked his tongue out on Haou's earlobe.

Haou shuddered. "'Kay."

They allowed their lighter sides to take over and Judai and Johan were in the same position.

"AH!" they both screamed and pushed each other off.

"Sorry, that wasn't…" Johan started but couldn't find the right words.

"No, it's cool." Judai cleared his throat awkwardly. "Thanks for…getting me back."

"Yeah, no problem."

It was quiet.

"Is, uh, was Haou the reason why you weren't at school? Today, I mean."

"Um, yeah."

Johan cleared his throat. "What happened?"

Judai sighed. "Me and my dad…we were talking. About Megumi. And I know you told me to go easy on him but I just got so mad-"

"It's ok, Judai. It's ok to be mad. I won't judge you for what you did."

Judai smiled. "Thanks. Anyway, um, we kinda got into an argument and I ran upstairs and I just…gave up."

Johan wrapped his arms around the small brunette. "I'm sorry."

"Me too."

They sat there with their arms wrapped around each other for a while.

"Well, um, I should get going," the European said as he stood. "I've got some homework I need to finish."

"Ok," Judai said as he stood up too. "I'll walk you to the door."

They slowly trudged up the stairs and stood in front of the door while shifting their feet awkwardly.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow," Johan said as he turned around.

Judai caught his arm and forced the bluenette to face him. Then he leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Thanks. For everything."

Johan blushed slightly. "No problem." Then he left.

**Yeah, another short chapter. Sorry. I just finished watching Remember Me so I'm feeling a bit droopy. Leave me a review to make me feel better!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Ok, I would've waited until tomorrow to update but I got a lot of reviews asking me to update now. And I'm also extremely bored so I figured why not update early? Anyway, the fanfic's coming to an end. *pouts* It's the last chapter. I hope you enjoy it while it lasts!**

**Normally, I don't do chapter songs but when I was listening to this when I wrote this, I thought it was perfect.**

**Song: Breathe by Taylor Swift**

**ENJOY!**

Johan sat in his room and traced his fingers over the spot that Judai had kissed.

_Judai…_

His name echoed in his head every minute. He loved him so much. But only if he had the guts to tell him. And he wasn't sure if the brunette was ready for it.

The last time he had built up the courage to confess his feelings, he had a panic attack and completely pushed him away. Sure, he shared a little bit more about his life but he refused to talk about any type of relationship except for friendship.

He sighed and ran a hand through his untamable hair. Then he lay down in his bed and fell asleep with Judai's name still echoing in his head.

The next morning, Johan woke up and stared at the calendar. Only one more week until summer.

He smiled. As much as he loved to learn, he was grateful for three months of freedom.

Johan grabbed his skateboard and went to Judai's house. It was a regular thing to go to school together.

The bluenette rang the doorbell and saw the door open. He expected a normal hello but what he got was a kiss.

Judai jumped out of the house and into Johan's arms and pulled him down into a warm and infuriating kiss.

Johan pulled away with wide eyes. _Is this real?_ he asked himself. _Is this all a dream?_

Judai smiled. "I'm ready."

It a moment for the European to make sense of what he just said. He was ready to have a relationship. A relationship better than friendship.

Johan grinned and picked the boy up and kissed him again. "That's great!" he exclaimed. "I wasn't sure how much longer I could go without feeling your lips against mine."

Judai laughed.

**DURING LUNCH**

Judai and Johan entered the cafeteria holding hands.

"Hey, guys," Johan greeted.

"Hi," Asuka and Jim said together. Then they glared at each other.

"What's the matter? Are you guys in a fight or something?" Judai asked.

"No, it's a bet," Jim said.

"On what?"

"Nothing."

Johan cocked a brow. "O-_kay?_" He looked over at Judai but he only shrugged.

"Oh, Judai where's your lunch?" Asuka asked.

"I forgot my lunch money at home."

"I'll get you something, Ju-chan," Johan said as he stood up. Then he lightly kissed Judai on the lips.

"HA!" Asuka screeched. "I told you! Now pay up."

"Huh?"

"Jim and I were betting on how long it would take for you two to hook up. He said after school ended and I said _before_ school ended. And I won! Now give me my five bucks."

The Aussi groaned and gave her a five dollar bill.

Johan rolled his eyes and went to buy Judai's lunch.

When he returned, Johan heard Jim talking about buying a gift for his mother's birthday and the bluenette saw the discomfort in Judai's eyes. So he quickly changed the subject but that didn't help one bit.

That same look stayed in his eyes and it broke Johan's heart.

After school, Judai was still distancing himself from his boyfriend.

"Judai, is something bothering you?" Johan asked already knowing that there is and what it is that's bothering him but he wanted to hear Judai say it for himself.

"Yeah," Judai said. "There is."

"What is it?"

"It's my mom."

"I thought we talked about this?"

"We did, but it still hurts."

Johan pulled him into a hug and kissed the top of his head. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok." He pulled away and looked at the door. "I should go, Hiroshi's probably waiting for me."

Johan nodded. "I'll see you later."

"Kay." Judai walked inside and went straight to his room. He hated this feeling. It was always in the way. It was always interfering with him and Johan. And frankly, it was pissing Judai off.

That weekend, Johan took Judai to the skating rink. It finally got his mind off of his mother and Johan was very pleased with himself.

Then after a good round of skating and joking, they went to Judai's favorite ice cream parlor and got their favorite flavors.

Strawberry for Johan and chocolate for Judai.

But after Johan dropped Judai off at his house, his depression came back. As usual.

So Judai sat in bed in the same position as always. Flat on his back and with his knees up.

There was only two days left of school. But Judai couldn't take feeling like this anymore. When would the ache in his heart heal?

He sighed and let sleep consume him.

Now it was Tuesday. Last day of school. No more essays, no more finals, no more bullies.

It was all over and Judai couldn't be happier. He just had last seven more hours.

The doorbell rang and he fetched his bike from the garage and answered the door to find no other than Johan standing there with his skateboard.

He leaned down and kissed the brunette and smiled. "Hey."

"Hi," Judai said as he blushed.

"You ready?"

"Yep, let's go."

When school ended, everyone ran out of the building screaming.

Judai was doing the moonwalk when he noticed Johan laughing at him. "What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing," he giggled. "You're just funny." Then he kissed him tenderly. "Oh, my mom's here. We're celebrating the first day of summer so I can't-"

"It's ok, go," Judai said as he faked a smile. The pain was back again when he saw Johan's mother. "I'll talk to you later, ok?"

"Ok." He left and got in the car with his mom.

Judai got on his bike and slowly rode home. He couldn't take it anymore. No matter where he went the pain would always come back in the end.

He walked into his room, grateful that Hiroshi wasn't home. He didn't want him to see his son like this.

Judai sighed and started talking to himself. It was something he did when he thought that Megumi would somehow hear him.

"Mom, I just realized something," he said. "You're really gone. And there's no bringing you back. The pain in my heart will never heal. Never. So what am I waiting for? It doesn't make sense." He sighed. "I love you, Mom."

He grabbed his phone and sent a text, knowing that he was breaking his promise when he said he would talk to him later.

He went downstairs and into the basement searching for the one thing he needed.

_**Would you like me to take over? **_Haou asked inside him.

"No," he spoke out loud. "I wanna do it myself. But thanks anyway."

_**No problem.**_

Judai smiled when he found it. He snatched it and walked outside and started to climb a tree. When he reached a branch that was at a reasonable height, he tied the rope to the branch and then the other end to his neck.

He closed his eyes and said a mental goodbye to everyone he ever cared about as a tear rolled down his face. Then he looked up and said, "Hello, Mom." Then he jumped and smiled as the oxygen stopped coming.

Black dots came into his vision and soon took over so he saw absolutely nothing. And then it just stopped. He couldn't even think about how happy he was. Because he wasn't there anymore.

**LATER**

Johan had just came home from dinner. He and his family went out to the fanciest restaurant that charged a glass of water for five bucks.

He went up to his room and checked his messages. He had gotten a text from Judai at four o'clock.

"Crap," he muttered. Hopefully the brunette wouldn't be mad at him for not responding. But that was until he read the message.

**Johan, I hope that you're still celebrating so I don't have to face you afterwards. I just don't think I'd be able to handle your expression if I did.**

**I realized that this pain in my heart, will never go away. Not even if you try your very best to fill it. There will always be some gap that'll separate us forever. But please, don't take this personally. It's not you, it's me. And I'm not just quoting some lame romantic comedy.**

**I love you, Johan. And I'm sorry I never got the chance to tell you in person. I will always remember you. And I hope to see you again in a few years time.**

**But until then, this is goodbye.**

**J**

"_WHAT?_" Johan ran out of the house, not bothering to tell his parents what was going on. He raced to Judai's house and ran in the house and saw Hiroshi staring out the window in the family room.

"Mr. Yuki!" he called with tears running down his face. "_Please_ tell me it isn't true."

He turned around with red eyes. He shook his head and turned back around.

Johan ran to the window and saw Judai hanging from the tree. "_NO!_" he cried. "_JUDAI!_" He ran outside and kept calling his name but he never moved.

"Please, Judai! PLEASE! ANSWER ME!"

Hiroshi ran after him and saw the bluenette on his name screaming bloody murder.

He pulled Johan into his arms as he sobbed Judai's name over and over. "Summer just started! He looked so happy just a few hours ago! WHY? _WHY?_"

"Ssh," Hiroshi cooed as more tears fell from his own eyes. "It's ok. Everything will be just fine."

"I loved him! And he loved _me!_ We loved each other! Why would he do this? Why?" He sobbed harder. He couldn't even find the strength to say another word. It was all just incoherent sounds.

It was all over. Everything that Johan had hoped for. It was all gone.

When he finally calmed down, Hiroshi called his parents and explained to him what happened.

"You're parents are coming to pick you up," he said.

Johan nodded as the tears continued to spill over. "Thanks for calling them."

"You're welcome. Now c'mon, before you leave I want you to have something."

Johan looked up.

"Follow me."

The European stood up and wiped his face as he followed Hiroshi into Judai's room.

Hiroshi pulled out Judai's deck of dueling cards and handed it to Johan. "He would want you to have this."

Johan took a shaky hand and grabbed the deck which started a new set of tears. "Thank you," he croaked.

Then a car horn sounded and he sniffed. "I guess that's my ride. Bye, Mr. Yuki."

"Goodbye, Johan."

The bluenette walked out the door and into the car ignoring all his parent's questions. He just wanted quiet. That's al he wanted. Was that so hard to ask?

The next day, Johan sat up with a headache from all the crying. But he wasn't gonna cry today. Judai wouldn't want him to.

But he found himself smiling. After all he's been through, he wouldn't change a single thing.

He met Judai, he kissed Judai, and he helped Judai heal. Of course there was a part of him that was still hurting but Judai took care of that.

He was with his mother now and he couldn't be more happy for the small brunette.

He grabbed his phone and replied to Judai's text.

**I love you too, Judai. I'll miss you.**

**J**

Then before he hit send, he showed it to the sky to show Judai. Then he hit the green button and smiled when the little box popped up that said, _You're message was successfully sent._

He sighed and blew a kiss to the sky. "I hope you're a having a good time with Megumi, Ju-chan. And don't worry about me. Either way, I'll ride it out totally fine. That's how it is with soul mates. That's just what they do. I love you."

**Ok, that's it. I hope you're not too upset with me. If you are, please forgive me. I wanna hear your thoughts. Review plz! And don't hold back your anger lol I'm giving you full permission to call me a bitch so DO NOT ON ANY TERMS, HOLD BACK!**


	12. Alternate Ending

**Ok, sorry it took me so long to update. My bad! But I hope this will make it up to you!**

**This is for all of the readers who didn't like the original ending so here is an Alternate Ending.**

**Enjoy!**

**Ok, for all the ppl who didn't like the ending to this fanfic, I'd like you to know that this chapter is an alternate ending so I hope you enjoy it!**

The minute the school bell rang, everyone danced and cheered. Judai started doing the moonwalk and smiled when he saw Johan laughing at him.

"Nice moves," Johan said before he kissed him.

"Thanks, I owe Michael Jackson for teaching them to me," he laughed.

Johan smiled and looked out toward the lot. "Oh, that's my mom. We're celebrating so I can't-"

"It's ok," Judai interrupted and faked a smile. "Go with your family."

Johan saw right through Judai's smile. It was all written in his eyes. "How about we go to your favorite ice cream parlor after I come back for dessert?"

Judai smiled a real smile. "Ok!"

"Alright, I'll see you around seven thirty, ok?"

He nodded. Then when he left, the depression returned. Just like always. He sighed and hopped on his bike and rode home slowly.

He went straight to his room when he got home, grateful that Hiroshi wasn't here to see him like this.

He sighed once again and started talking to himself. It was something he did when he thought that Megumi was listening to him.

"Mom, I just realized something," he said. "You're really gone. And there's no bringing you back. The pain in my heart will never heal. Never. So what am I waiting for? It doesn't make sense." He sighed. "I love you, Mom."

He closed his eyes and sat up straight when his thoughts started racing in his head.

_What the _hell_ are you talking about? You wanna kill yourself? And screw up everything you and Johan have? You've only been together for a week, for god's sake! He _loves_ you! Why would you do that to him? You know, you are so stupid sometimes. And your mom? She would be sooo _pissed_ with you if you killed yourself. And you know her, she'll find a way to ground you in Heaven. So don't even try it._

He shook his head and almost laughed at the thought him committing suicide.

He just had to find something to keep himself occupied until Johan came to pick him up.

Judai grabbed his dueling cards and started talking with his monster spirits. He hadn't had a full conversation with them in years.

They talked and talked until a new spirit came into view.

"Ruby?" Judai asked in confusion. Then he looked up and saw Johan standing in the doorway.

"Hey, Ju-chan," he said with a smile.

Judai said goodbye to his cards and hugged Johan. Then he kissed him long and hard.

The bluenette blinked. "Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. I just wanted to feel closer to you."

Johan smiled. "C'mon, let's go get some ice cream."

**YAAAAAAY! I hope you enjoyed the alternate ending! I hope it satisfies everyone. Btw, sorry it was so short. Review plz!**

**l**

**l**

**v**


End file.
